You are mad at yourself because once again you're in a relationship with a narcissist. Your partner was fun and charming, but now you realize that he/she; is only interested in himself, is incapable of recognizing their responsibility when things go wrong, angry most of the time, and often has terrifying rage episodes; tell you that you are the crazy one. You feel isolated and confused and longer able to trust your own reality. You mask the pain with alcohol, drugs, sex, over-spending, over-working, over-pleasing, and over-doing, but eventually, these ways of getting through bad days stop working. You want your life back.