Hilary Jacobs Hendel LCSW

About

Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is passionate about making education on emotions accessible to all people and sharing a practical and life-changing tool she calls The Change Triangle. She is the author of the award-winning book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Penguin Random House) and Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive (Alcove Press, 2025). She received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, Time.com, Oprah.com and professional journals. Her blog, the Change Triangle, is read worldwide. Hendel was also the psychological consultant on AMC’s Mad Men. She lives in New York City.

Books by Hilary Jacobs Hendel LCSW

Recent Posts

What Happens When You Make a Mistake?

Are you hard on yourself when you or your loved ones make mistakes? There is another way.

What Do You Want Me to Do?

Feeling like a nagging wife or partner? Here’s a tip to change that dynamic.

3 Reasons It’s Hard to Say “I Love You”

Is your relationship suffering over the words I love you? Going beyond your reluctance may be healing.

"Shut up and Listen!" A Message to Parents

Gen Z doesn’t want more lectures—they want to be heard. When kids blame parents, it often stirs shame and defensiveness. But shutting down or self-blaming only widens the gap.

The Agony and the Ecstasy of Accountability

Why is it so hard to be accountable for our mistakes, flaws, and transgressions? Our emotions can help shed some light.

What Does Connection Feel Like?

Connection is a felt experience that nourishes our hearts, minds, and nervous systems. Learn how to cultivate a greater sense of connection.

5 Surprising Consequences of Not Understanding Your Emotions

Understanding emotions empowers us to feel better and navigate the emotional challenges of life. Why doesn't our society teach us about emotions?

Defining and Finding Our Authentic Self

As we move toward vitality and authenticity, our ability to tolerate challenges grows. We discover that we are not powerless to change or at the mercy of our minds.

5 Tips to Be Heard and to Listen Better

Here are tips for people who want to be better heard and for people who struggle to listen well. Try them!

Learn to Listen for Better Relationships

Have you ever spaced out when someone was talking to you? Or have you ever talked to someone you had a feeling wasn't listening? They were somewhere else.