Huh. OK, well, psychosis aside, I'm of the school of thought that if isolating from the world and other humans makes it easier to be calm and balanced, that that's a reason NOT to do it. I mean really, with all respect to the Dalai Lama (and I do respect him immensely), how can a man who has never been in an intimate relationship tell us anything about how to be in one? In my pretty normal 42 years of ups and downs and relationships and sexuality, I've found my most difficult and most powerful learning experiences have come from my intimate relationships with men. Precisely BECAUSE these relationship can be so crazy-making, they help us learn about ourselves and our internal reactions in a way not many other experiences can. They teach us about letting go, about acceptance, about forgiveness, and about how to walk the fine line between attachment and independence. Since I have chosen not to have children and have never lived in a war zone, relationships - with their intense emotion - have taught me almost every difficult and glorious lesson I've learned in my life. Not all, certainly, but almost every evolutionary leap I've made in my growth has been a direct outcome of a relationship, whether that relationship was happy or difficult.

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