I'd rather make the decision to divorce or reconcile based on facts, not the lies of a cheating spouse. If your gut tells you they are cheating, they are probably cheating. They shouldn't need to hide emails or have a password protected phone, and if they do, they should have no problem sharing the password with you.

You don't need to put yourself in a situation where you appear or feel crazy, the cheater did that for you. You need to prove to yourself that you aren't crazy, and that your gut is true.

To hide your head in the sand, you end up either splitting up a family never really knowing the real reason why, so no chance to learn from the situation. That might appear pretty crazy to outsiders, just left the family because of gut feelings.

By getting proof, you also can control the narrative as far as the cheating spouse telling family and friends lies about you and the situation. They'll say you cheated, that's why you divorced.. or you beat them.. abused them, they'll make up all sorts of lies. It's what they do. So now your children can think the cheater was a saint, and the faithful spouse was a horrible person.

This article gives terrible advice.

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, there are many red flags (your gut will keep warning you). Then look into it. Find out where they're going. Check your phone bill. You may end up divorced.. you may end up reconciled, but either way you'll know why. A soft confrontation will drive the affair under ground.

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