Totally disagree with this. I employed a private detective, bought a keylogger for the computer and got access to his email account. I was right to do this. To say that you have to trust or leave is a simplification that indicates to me that you have never been in this situation. To walk out of a 20 year marriage, where you are a stay-at-home mother with four small dependent children is not a decision you take lightly. You need to be sure of what you are doing. The cheater tries desperately to convince the cheatee that he or she is paranoid and given that this is coming from the person you decided to trust most in the whole world it can be quite convincing. In order to preserve your own sanity you need to know the truth. I learned the real meaning of the term 'the truth will set you free'. I would advice anyone who suspects that they are being cheated on to spy on their partner to know the truth and in over 90% of cases they are right.
This is absolutely not the same kind of behaviour as the cheater. Your statement is like saying that defending yourself against someone who is attacking you is engaging in the same behaviour. It is not.
I totally disapprove of this advice.

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