*****The definition of swearing is simply using "offensive" language. What is offensive? Ask Google. What shoots up- "causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset, or angry " and "actively aggressive; attacking". So let's establish firstly that to begin with swearing, in its true form, is not good. ******

Moving on to response....(I think Neel's arguments are empty)

First the pain relief. "Richard Stephens of Keele University in England found that people who swear are able to hold their hands in ice-water for twice as long." (limited to the non "chain-swearers"). This research is entirely keen on promoting profanity(says its conclusion). In my view swearing/using the subject's energy on something other than the pain just causes him not to fully focus on the pain. And there are healthy ways of diverting attention and energy. There's no need to use profane language there. Also just citing a university won't make the research reliable and valid. Especially if it's psychological. Here's a comment I found on another article brandishing the research:-

"The research is not complete. Yes, swearing provides relief from pain. But this relief is temporary. But long term it has disastrous effects. Because it gets you hooked into going for the temporary relief and you fall into the habit of swearing all the time and also not learning why the cause of the pain and dealing with it by sorting out your life properly. The short term solutions rob you off the maturity to work on yourself and find an ultimate solution. Each one is different and if we do not learn from who we are, what our habits are, which are them cause us pain and how to alleviate the pain by transforming our life, our habits, our living, our lifestyle then we have just existed but not lived.
See how these researchers damage us by publicly talking about a shallow research that actually confirm something that is wrong."

Second power and control. Out of my personal experience, and of a few others, swearing always makes you feel out of control, blurring rationality. The already pumped up adrenaline gets a boost. In my opinion, in any fight, rational thinking is very important and that does not come with an adrenaline boost or a fake sense of power. I don't understand what power you get by swearing. Maybe power the article is talking about is the one of a dominating spirit(clearly unwanted). And if that quote provided was indeed one of Mark Twain's, given the cited context, it's a very bad one.

Third non-violent retribution. This point promotes both swearing and vengeance. Why is that not surprising? Now the article admits to hurtful consequences of swearing while at the same time calling it a non-violent retribution. Enough said. If swearing were the recipe to anger management, the world would have covered its first step to peace. That's not happening. At all.

Clubbing fourth and fifth, humor and peer/social bonding. This point promotes both swearing and vulgarity(citing the most commonly used swear word) and bad company*. Its a well established fact that only the immature laugh at vulgarity (as their window to sacredness is opaque with dirt). The consequences of which are, as you know, the degraded life and character, the loss of respect for yourself and every other thing, so on and so forth. In my opinion swearing would "act" as a relaxing machine only to those who have ignored/never felt the freshness in a child or in nature. I'm promoting innocence (not ignorance) here (and yes there is greater innocence than our gentle sin). Now as to feeling a sense of oneness amongst friends, notice that when swearing you feel as you're in the same "doomed" boat as your colleague and hence not lonely. That's relieving right? I spot stupidity (not even intending to offend).

Sixth self-expression. The fact that you can express yourself to an extent with limited vocabulary is not a secret either. You don't need swear words for that. You know this strikes me as funny that the article says you can express you mean business if you swear. It's like standing in a crowded place and taking your clothes off. Everyone knows you mean business. On a more serious note, not many take a foul-mouth seriously. How much respect can you have for a friend who kisses his baby sister with the same mouth with with he swears?

Seventh psychological and physical health. This is a blunt lie. If it really produces increased circulation and elevated endorphin, we should have the answer to diabetes, obesity, depression, etc (almost all the unhealthy states). Psychology is a vast subject where controversies are not uncommon. The fact that the article, by itself, establishes a psychological truth about swearing, reveals a lot about the owner's profile and his intentions.

Now if we were to practice swearing as often as the article says we should, we would automatically be "chain-swearers". And if you only occasionally swear, it doesn't take a lot for you to turn into a "chain-swearer".

Let me tell you I'm a person who began with small swear words for fun and peer and I told myself it was well intended. At that point I was immature. It lead me so deep I lost respect for my family and teachers (anyone who knows me knows how deep that is for me) and just kept going deeper. Ended up respecting my "friends-of-that-sort". I thought swearing was being honest of my feelings. Well, in reality, most of the time that's not true and if it were, its only vulgar. How can something like that help us in clearing the already muddied waters, life? The answer is right there. It can't.

*Remember how we were told that a bad apple can affect all the other apples in the basket? Sadly that has already happened. So much so that many of us can no longer recognize the bad in them.