I would suggest finding a therapist adept at his/her job and experience the workings of transference yourself.
It IS life changing to realize that you are treating your therapist as you have in the past.
I just made a major breakthrough when I realized that instead of facing the fears that a traumatic childhood experience brought up in therapy (and overwhelmed my life outside of therapy), I became infatuated with my therapist.
I recognized that this was a habit of mine: masking the pain with infatuation so as NOT to have to deal with the pain.

If my therapist WASN'T such a blank slate (and she's not annoyingly blank like some Freudian psychoanalysts, but I DID ask her to keep strict boundaries during my first visit: I.e. I don't WANT to know too much about her), I would never have felt safe enough or confident in sharing my discovery and revealing the infatuation.

I think your questions are valid, but they can only be answered through experiencing transference yourself.
I find transference to be an uncomfortable subject to discuss, but I'm already noticing great insights into things I'd like to work through in my personal life.