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My deepest sympathy to you Emily. I have followed your blog since taking a similar decision to do what ever it takes to get well. Even though we haven't suffered the same condition, your blog for many reasons has given me hope and has often been the point I make when I feel like others are telling me it's just not possible.... You have touched my own recovery and I feel for your grief.
Since taking steps to get better I have work incredibly hard with a psychologist and have made some real progress. I feel far more in touch with myself and have started to take part in the world again, I've even managed to find the most wonderful girlfriend I could imagine. Things are going in the right direction.
Your post reminds me of a moment I shared with my parents recently, crying that I didn't want this to be my future; what they had seen me go through that I didn't want to get to and age an look back at what could have been, it was a cry for life. I could see in my parents eyes many of the things that you have touched on in your post and I now realise that I want the same I want them to know that I have a life that is full of the things it should be, and that they can take comfort from knowing that I am the capable and courageous person they always knew that I was.
Emotional disturbance can rob us of so many things... I am so pleased that you managed to get something back and shared this with your father. What better gift could anyone give than that.
Thank you for sharing with so many....
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