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You haven't read good vampire books then. Read Anne Rice. Vampirism is just a vehicle for really deep questions she asks through her books, and though there's narcissistic vampires they don't deal with mortals the way Meyer does. They aren't idealized and they aren't put on a pedestal, rather than made more human through their vampirism and made to question everything they took for granted in their human life. There's a abuse from many parts, but there's also vampires who stand up against it. Maybe you won't like that women don't play a strong role in the novels and that the vampires are practically in open relationships, but if you can see past that you'll see how great those books are.
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