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A way I might begin to peel apart the misunderstanding is by differentiating between "discrimination" and "prejudice"...
Dating, by its very nature, is discriminating. Each person is trying to find, evaluate, and assess potential partners for the qualities that he/she wants. Pick-up might label this as "qualifying".
The problem, however, comes in when people take automatic mental shortcuts in their discriminating (called heuristics). These shortcuts discount whole groups of potential partners, without actually evaluating their qualities individually. It "saves time", but misses the individuals within the groups that may actually make suitable partners. That is because it pre-judges...hence, prejudice.
The "fix" for prejudice then is to interrupt the automatic mental shortcut (Devine, 1989). Essentially, get the person to think through the decision and fully evaluate, without the use of that prejudice. This will look a bit different, depending on which side of the prejudice the individual is on. I will use the "guy" examples below, as they are the focus of your teaching.
1) If the guy is the recipient of prejudice (e.g. "Asian men are not assertive"), then he needs to differentiate himself from the pre-judged group stereotype. Anything that prevents the potential partner from automatically characterizing him as part of the group will work. Dressing contrary to the stereotype. Body language changes. Displaying non-stereotypical features in conversation. Other skills such as Ericksonian pattern interrupts can be employed too. The benefit of all this though, is that dis-confirming the prejudice can actually be intriguing, arousing, and attractive for the recipient. So, in dating, the pre-judged individual can actually turn a "handicap" into an advantage - and look like a "diamond in the rough".
2) If the guy is the holder of the prejudice (e.g. "Asian women won't like him"), then he needs to learn to inhibit that automatic thought and replace it with something more functional. Essentially, he needs to test the assumption and discriminate (I talked to her to see if she was interested), rather than just pre-judging that she is not. Part of that process is to learn to be curious and get over fears of rejection (more on that here and here). Really, we're talking about cognitive restructuring for better self-talk and practice to instill better automatic habits.
Hope that helps :)
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