A loving relationship can be an oasis in uncertain times, but nurturing it requires attention, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and gratitude.
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Very true...and David D. would be proud :) What people "say" they want and what they actually respond to are often two different things. This is well-supported by Nisbett and Wilson (1977) in an article entitled "Telling More Than We Can Know: Verbal Reports on Mental Processes".
So yes, the findings are limited in this study by self-report. But, even then it is valuable starting-place to at least know "some" women consciously want this style while others do not. Sure, we don't yet know whether women who verbally disapprove of these techniques are nevertheless responsive to them behaviorally. Nor do we know whether women who verbally approve of them are actually responsive when they occur. But, at least on some level, the verbal report indicates that even "assertive" tactics have potential to be acceptable and attractive - for SOME women at least, under SOME conditions.
The rest is the where, when, and how for science to tease out in the next dozen studies. It is also for the daters to mix, match, and see what works to meet their goals and get the type of relationship they desire. That's why I try not to judge any strategy as "right" or "wrong" - but rather give some indication of who it might work for/with and why. Perhaps though, it will be time soon for me to roll up my research sleeves and truly start putting it all to the test. In fact, I'm beginning to make connections in both "academia" and the "community" to do just that. So, if you see me in a club with my laptop, come over and say hi :)
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