It's really up to each individual family to set their own parameters, but they should at least be equal as well as practical. I wonder if you remarry will you insist that your husband is not a parent and has no role in parenting? How does that even work?

My husband's ex wants me to parent when it suits her and not parent when it doesn't (basically she wants everyone to act as her puppet) and also has a different opinion of how much of a say I should have relative to how much of a say her subsequent husbands should have.

That's a problem.

And also an example that all situations are very different.

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