Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
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Yes, it sounds like avoidant behaviour alright and you should go to those places and don't try to avoid the person. Understand that only your "thoughts" of these places are what is affecting you, not the actual places themselves. I totally understand your situation by the way but you just feed and grow the fear by avoiding.
Secondly, dwelling on feelings and accepting them is a different thing, let them be felt. If that involves crying in sadness or screaming in anger let it happen - often a thought comes to mind that we don't like and we become scared of it, we don't want it to be here, so we try to think of something else (avoidance) rather than letting it speak its mind. Remember it's just a thought, it can't hurt you.
I have anxiety and Pure-O OCD and the best net how I've found for reducing its effects is simply accepting what comes up and letting it say what it wants. Often it dissipates immediately when I simply say "I'm accepting whatever this is".
Stereotypes are often harmful, but often accurate.
Our well-being depends in part on which questions we choose to engage.
Success in therapy depends heavily on the client.
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