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I just spent about two hours Journaling about "what I wish others knew about me".. and my responses were I wish people knew that I do care about mistakes I have made and bad decisions, but instead I portray this whole "I really dont care" attitude and usually make up a ton of excuses to justify my mistake. I also have no call, no showed three jobs in my past that were decent jobs because of something that happened to me. For instance, one of them i basically had a nervous breakdown in my personal life and ended up hospitalized for it. Well i ended up having to tell HR about it and i was in management at the time and i am aware that things do not always stay confidential with management, so long story ahort, i was so incredibly embarassed about the situation and very ashamed that i just decided not to go back. I could not handle those painful feelings and I felt like everybody knew and would judge me for it. And when the article said that it typically creates more of an issue from avoiding these emotions, it is absolutely correct. This company I worked for was in a small town and now I feel nervous going out in public in certain areas and avoid anywhere I think I may run into somebody that I used to work with. I have done this with two other jobs i have had for other reasons. I also procrastinate horribly. I also have huge plans and dreams for my future but they do not go anywhere. I've had issues throughout my entire life avoiding things, denying them, and making excuses. It has been a very serious problem of mine. After writing that journal, I happened to Google this article and when I read it, I was like wow that is exactly what I just discovered about myself that I guess I was never even aware of. I am going to go on a serious mission to work on this because it has caused significant distress in my life. Thank you so much for the article! If anybody has any tips for me on conquering this, I would love to hear them. I need serious help!
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