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This article really struck a cord in me. I love my girlfriend with every fiber in my being. She is an incredible human being- the likes of which I may never encounter again in this lifetime, and she is precious to me.
As an extremely sensitive and loving person, she is easily hurt, and often expresses doubts about us. Sometimes I get frustrated and say the wrong things, and sometimes, I think, she overreacts and has a tendency to build tiny fears into horrific terrors, inflating them via a self-inflicted verbal frenzy, and I feel powerless to soothe or re-assure her.
I admit that my communication skills are a work in progress, and many things I should have done better. I certainly have my own demons to exorcise..
But many of her fears, I feel, are due to past traumas she has experienced in her life; ex-lovers, friends, co-workers, and abusive family members.
I worry that, as a result of these past abuses, many of her coping skills have been eroded. I may never be perfect enough for her, regardless of well I progress.
As human beings, we will inevitably hurt each other at times, beit intentionally or accidentally. I fear that she lacks the fortitude to weather these small pains, or the introspection to acknowledge even the possibility that some of our relationship problems might be solved, in part, through the development of healthier coping skills, and not only better communication.
Not only do I want to assist her development out of selfish desire to enjoy her companionship, but also because I profoundly love and respect her as a person. I want her to enjoy life to its fullest, extracting every bit of joy from it possible.
I would appreciate any resources one might have on enabling me to better help her cope, (without making her feel as if I'm trying to "school" her.) She is highly intelligent, and averse to me trying to educate her on much of anything.
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