Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
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The system of victims and victimizers is highly complex. We have become a nation of victims, where everyone is leapfrogging over each other, competing for the status of victim, where most people define themselves as some sort of survivor (maksing the fact that there re true victims and survivors.) We live in a culture where more and more people are claiming their own holocaust. While some victims are truly innocent (i.e., the child who is being molested, a victim in the other car in a drunk driving accident), most violence involves some knowledge, familiarity or intimacy between victims and victimizers. It has been pointed out that if you add up all the groups that consider themselves to be victims or oppressed, their number adds up to almost 400 percent of the population. Exploring the psychology or the dynamic of victimhood has been suppressed and censored because it has been equated with "victim blaming". As the article Rethinking 'Don't Blame The Victim' illuminates, the victim stance is a powerful one.
The victim's basic stance is that he or she: 1. Is not responsible for what happened. 2. Is always morally right.3. Is not accountable.4. Is forever entitled to sympathy. 5. Is justified in feeling moral indignation for being wronged.
"It is not my fault!", "I have been wronged!" and "I am owed!" are the essential victim's stance. My article of Culture of Victims at http://www.zurinstitute.com/victim_psychology.html articulates the details how healing is possible.
Ofer Zur, Ph.D.
Director, Zur Institute
Couples often confuse the two.
In proximity to a contemptuous person or blog post, you could get infected.
Develop the former, embrace the latter.
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