Thanks for this sage advice, Dr. Pickhardt. I suspect many adults could use these same strategies successfully in their relationships.

I would only add that, in addition to all the neural-pathway destruction/construction that happens during the teen years, some kids do have low brain-based empathy.

Sometimes ADHD, bi-polar, and especially Asperger's Syndrome (even the "mild" instances) come with deficits in empathy, remorse, and even "conscience." In some cases, medication can help promote feelings of empathy and remorse -- especially with ADHD, for example.

So, it's important for parents to know that, however well they try to teach the lessons you aptly outline here, behavioral strategies might not "take" with some children.

Gina Pera, author
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?
Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder