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I understand what you're saying about life being meaningless for you. I wonder if you ever stopped to see if there was something that was meaningful to you?
I'm not sure if there's a God or a plan in the universe. But I am sure of one thing. Everybody on this planet has a different skill-set that exceeds everybody else's. I also believe that everybody is destined for something.
That doesn't mean that everybody is destined for greatness. Some people are destined to be the victims. I say that because for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Maybe your reason for existing is the state of the things that you do say so that others will be inclined to say otherwise.
The long and short of this is that nobody really knows anything. And by anyting I'm talking about the basics. Some people believe that God created the universe. Science has proven that the Big Bang did happen. Or if you say the Big Bang happened, from where did that happen? Something had to create it. You can even turn around and say God created the Big Bang. But then you're left with the question who or what created God? They are both questions that cannot be answered.
Which brings this conversation back to your thoughts. I have no intentions of negating anything you say. Who am I to decide what you say is right or wrong? But let's just say you're right. Once we do that the choice becomes very simple for you. You can choose to live a miserable life, or you can choose to live a happy one. Whichever one you choose some things are going to happen that are both good and bad. And there's nothing you can do to stop that. In this world but the only thing you can control is yourself.
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