Over here in the UK when we take our children out of school to home educate we use the term that they need to 'de-school'. Its what you are describing, they need time to realise that learning is in everything they do, that they are in control of their learning and no-one will dictate to them what they must learn. I think my 9yr old took about 6mths or so to really get this as he would at the beginning ask me, are we going to do work now? this was usually when he was naughty! He was thinking that doing work would be a punishment and he kept saying, are you going to shout at me if i don't do any work? and if i don't do work i won't learn anything. We talked a lot about how home ed is very different and some people believe that they way school does it is not the best way, that you learn from doing what you love, playing and helping in the house. He asked me but if i want to go to college when i'm older can i still do that if i'm home ed? of course i said, you can do whatever you want! When he was at school he never mentioned college, he would say he that didn't want to do anything when he's older, not college or work, ever!
I have seen how the freedom he has now has changed him so much, not only is he happier now but so eager to learn and he'll find something he loves to do that leads onto another thing and so on. He does it all himself and only rarely asks me for help or questions. His little sister benefits hugely from this too and loves to be with him. He told me recently that when his nana asked him if he does any school work he said to her, no, but nana home education is the whole of your life and she agreed.

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