Hi, Thank you for such constructive post and I find it helpful and reassuring. Our situation is stalemate and seemed to be in circles amongst me, my husband and our son of 19 years old. Our son had been withdrawn and secretive and allowed his father to speak out than me but turned to me for reassurance, while openly told us that he cannot live with us and our home is no home and constantly want to leave. He also wanted to be accepted by his peers and smoked weed secretly during his last year of school that lead to low marks . The weed taking did not suit him and exam pressure and home pressure lead him into a state of anxiousness, then lack of sleep, and the lack of sleep played in him that allowed anxieties and wanting of more weed. This formed a vicious circle.One day it exploded resulting him to get treated in an psychiatric hospital for days and months with us ( where he does not want to be) nursing him better, and eventually got us to pay out lots of money for him travelling. ... his has just landed from Uganda after 5 weeks away today and within hours his has already told us he does not want to be here and not with us.... he is to search to hitch hike to somewhere else. .... Whenever me and husband come to this situation, he would pull him aside and excluding me and talked and talked and talked their talks,our son will then act against all that he heard. My husband will then be on a guilt trip with me and our son will then seek some sort of approval from me or an undying love and reassurance from me. I seemed to be on a rule of double mothering two children and blind folded. Our worry is that we seemed to be back to square one where his anxiety attack all started and we are worried that he might end up in the psychiatric hospital again. We asked what exactly is bothering him with our presence..... and we are not getting any answers. And with my husband's insisting on his one to one with our son , we cannot be a united front to our son and I feel its not all open. We are constantly on some sort of fights. They would do their talks and I was not involved, then they would come to me for comfort and advice and if I question then I am not approving them then I am a bad person, when I don't even know what they said! Please can anyone advice and on any useful reading?

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