As a 21 year old who seems to be going through the "I can't make me" phase, it's not that I even want to prevent myself from doing things I know are constructive and legitimately would like to do. Even when I'm not doing them, I want to be doing them and know that the best thing for me is to do them. I just proceed to not do them, and end up beating myself up over it.

I'm not sure if this is normal or pathological, honestly, but I'm nowhere near who I can be and want to be because of it. Consider the possibility of this being the case for your 18-23 year old. It may be that they don't even want to be the way they are, and want help changing (but may be afraid to speak). That last bit is pretty irrelevant for me on account of my mom having BPD, but it might be helpful to any parents reading this.

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