My mother and father in law have made it fairly obvious (to me) that they did not like me being with their son from when things started to get serious. They even told him to have a fling while he was overseas so as to 'get over me' (we hadn't broken up!)

She tries to manipulate, but I call her on it when I've had enough and I don't think that's helped, but I don't think I should have to put up with it.

More recently, she offers to help me out with my two young and very demanding daughters. Offers I have gratefully accepted, however, they never come to fruitition. I accepted them so that she could see her grandkids, because frankly, I'm not overfond of the idea of them seeing her. However, I do believe the relationship is important as my grandparents had passed by the time I was born. My partner points out that she offers all the time to help, but what he neglects to see is that she never does. She just avoids it or dosen't turn up.

More recently she has started making unfair remarks directed to me, although, again, my partner says that she's not. The first was 'no body would stop me seeing my grandkids' - hey, they are here and would love to see you. and Second was 'I didn't have help when I had two small children'. That's great, but why are you taking it out on us. We'd just like her to mind them maybe once a month while we have a bite to eat and so we can have a talk and get our relationship back on track.

We run a small business. I work at home and often the only time we get to talk is late at night. The kids haven't slept through the night for a long time and we just don't talk.

I wonder if this is her way of trying to break us up.

She never seems to like anyone that her children date. She often criticises them or says how much she hates them. Her friends seems to be similar as she has made comments on friend's kid's spouses.

What do I do? If I keep fighting with my partner on this our marriage will end and I don't want that to happen.