There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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I agree with your comment here. You might enjoy the series of essays I posted on ADHD, which you can find in the TOC to my Psychology Today blog. I especially refer you to this essay: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201008/the-adhd-personality-its-cognitive-biological-and-evolutionary-foundations
It includes this statement: "The condition we call ADHD is clearly one that can vary in degree. A few people--and I think that is very few people--who are diagnosed with ADHD have the condition to such an extreme degree that most of us would consider it to be a disorder, worthy of some kind of treatment, under almost any social conditions. But most people with the diagnosis have the condition to a much lesser degree than that--a degree that interferes especially with schooling and certain other school-like activities, as they are structured today, but may actually be helpful in other settings."
Trustful parenting is thrown off course, in various ways, when fear prevails.
For most people human rights have increased, but for children they have shrunk.
Some problems can be solved best by taking a break from trying to solve them.
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