Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
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I have an ex I dated 11 years ago. He is my roommate now. It does not even feel like he is my ex, whom I have remained friends with. It feels like he is just a guy who has been my friend for years.
Having said that, the few years immediately after the breakup we rarely spoke. It was moreso once we had both fully moved on and the romantic relationship became an afterthought that we began spending time together as good friends. By this point we could talk about the people we were dating. If you don't feel comfortable doing that with an ex or would be jealous or suspect they would be, you're not ready to be friends.
The desire to be seen in a positive light can give rise to dangerous behaviors.
Anxiety about rejection can undermine satisfaction.
Doing well can be a double-edged sword.
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