... I don´t think that being honest about everything is the answer to all problems. Actually deception plays an is an important role in all aspects of social life, including relationships. We censure- and portray our selves in certain ways, both to our self and others, always leaving out (hiding) important aspects of our personality. This happens intuitively, often without conscious awareness.
We also sometimes do stupid things, that we afterwards regret. I think it is important to take responsibility for those mistakes and that does not necessarily involve my partner. In fact it dose not. And no, I would not feel hurt if my partner lied about a one-night-stand (if she had another relationship besides the one with me, it would be different and I would have to ask myself what the hell went wrong, but it´s her life and I can´t control other people; only myself (to a degree)). In fact i would be a bit offended if she told me, instead of taking responsibility and dealing with her mistake, instead of making HER feelings of e.g. guilt interfere with the relationship.
Instead of being honest I think it is important to be open about what makes a relationship work for you and to remember that people are "just people", with all their imperfections, and you can´t really expect anything from them - if they prove you wrong; great! but as soon as you start expecting things from your partner, you are really just imposing your needs on them. Not their needs - your needs! That´s helpful to remember. The real secret to good relationship, I think, is to help - or assist - your partner in living the life they want to live and to be the person that they really want to be, while they are doing the same for you.

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