I don't want you to dislike anyone. But, after living with an (at least) second generation BPD/NPD woman, I noted that while she had a, to say the least, complicated/angry relationship with her mother, she revered her father -- who from my observations, gave the mother largely free behavior rein.

I didn't understand the relationship at all. I think I violated her "sense of balance" when I refused to stand-by and permit the same kind of behaviors.

I am not here to judge or tell people on the receiving ends of those relationships how to feel. But, I can tell you from the outside looking in, it is hard to comprehend.

In answer to the brow-beaten/real-beaten males, I understand his statistics. But, I still believe that you have to do what you have to do to protect your children. Accepting abuse of yourself is hard to explain -- I accepted it. It is embarrassing. It took a long time to come up with some sort of explanation to myself of why I permitted it to happen. But, that is not the same, at least to me, as accepting abuse to children, especially younger children.

This is just my view. I understand that we all are different, have different points of view and have different strengths, capacities, weaknesses and limits.