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I understand your comments and agree. but I don't think that enough attention is paid to the "passive enabler" parent's role.
This is just my opinion, but I marvel at people who have one abusive parent and adore the non-abusive parent who stands by and does nothing. That, in my view, is not just "passive enabler" conduct. It is the other half of the "abuse and neglect" duo.
What I wonder is why children (and therapists) don't bring this out. Parents who don't take on their abusive partners for the sake of their children, in my opinion, are just engaging in neglect. The neglectful parent should not get a pass on this.
A passive enabler parent and his/her children are not equally situated victims in this kind of situation. I believe that it is the duty of a parent to protect children -- even at cost of harm/abuse to him/herself by the abusive parent.
Amazing how four short words can cause you to come across as controlling.
Have you had yet this most important conversation with your kids?
No need for divorce for one parent to selfishly turn the kids against the other.
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