I hate these academic nitpickers who try to make a political point about every goddamn thing human beings do or don't do, and try to change or shape it accordingly to fit an agenda. Why is it such a big deal who passes out glue at a fucking craft table and who passes out scissors? As long as they're not stabbing each other with the Fiskars and huffing the Elmer's, who seriously gives a shit? Besides pop psychologists who need to justify their own neuroticism and paranoia and screw up kids even more to sell a freakin' book or get a grant, I guess.

When I was a kid, the boys played with trucks and the girls played with dolls. Nobody ended up dead in a gutter because Janie didn't like the Tonkas and Johnny didn't play house. We colored with crayons and made blob sculptures with Play-Doh. We read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie without having to write a 20-page research paper on the behavioral propensity for actual mice, given cookies, to want a glass of milk. We ate dirt. And this wasn't the Leave it to Beaver era, mind you. It was the fucking Eighties. None of us kids gave a rat's ass (or a mouse's cookies) about AIDS until our parents started freaking out. Ryan White could have come and rode bikes or played Nintendo with any of us, girls, boys, extraterrestrials, whatever. We didn't have any idiotic preconceived notions that we'd die from our faces getting melted off, like the Nazi in Indiana Jones, just from sharing Pop Tarts with the poor guy. It's the adults that ruin it, because you're all fucking nuts.

Didja ever think that one of the reasons why these kids are going postal on the playground might be due to all these shrinks and high-strung parents trying to micromanage their lives and overanalyze everything? What the fuck happened to just letting girls wear pink and not worrying how it would affect their earnings potential or ROI? Making guns out of Legos without worrying that Junior is going to grow up and be "Most Likely to Be The Next Charles Manson" by senior year? Jesus H. Chrysler, it looks like a lot of these people need to put down the thesis arguments and get a life.

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