I am depressed as hell. I have aspergers as well, so bipolar disorder does not help. Though I have to disagree with you that certain subjects put pressure on us, as you are responsible for what you choose to go into, I have to agree that the internal workings of the curriculum is what has the most affect on people like me or are suffering from things like me.

I think it's also due to the fact of having done 4 years of college work that I am completely exhausted. I never stopped going to school, never partied, and paid attention to my work. Because college is truly just for school. But, needless to say, I am severely depressed, and just feel like quitting and going to sleep for the next hundred years. Even if I am a month away.

I noticed that over time, even if I tried hard in school, my grades kept slipping. I was a highschool dropout, passed the GED with flying colours, became one of the top students at my community college and graduated with honors at my community college and decided to keep going to school.

Before I go any further, I would like to point out that I found community college professors to actually teach better than most of the professors at my "prestigious" university. You learn that in University level, they will hire the researcher over the educator any day (because he rakes in more green), and the educated suffer because of it. Not only are they getting "taught" by sub-par teachers who don't really know how to teach, but they are also given assignments that they don't care to do. This is not always because they are irresponsible. It is sometimes because they think even going to class is worthless because they could literally read the textbook and know about as much as they would if they had gone to class anyway. The teaching isn't there, just cold, hard, business, research and money.

Yes, higher education has turned into the lifeless, uncaring business we see to day. Everything is a transaction. And through every class you are required to spend even more, even if you can't pay to go to school in the first place. They rip you off for four years, and when you get to the end of those years? A certificate. A piece of paper that says you studied this for four years. That is it.

What can I say about my degree? Well other than doing 5 required courses and a bacc core (just a bunch of general courses relatively useless to what you study) and spending 40,000 or more dollars a year, I did learn some things. I learned how important history is to the education system itself, and for our future, as well as the histories and cultures of several countries. It opened my eyes, as well as saddens me to see such an important part/subject of our society looked down upon. I'm going to do what I can to make it respected again.This is coming from an ex-physics major (focus - astrophysics).

I learned a lot for sure, and I wrote about 120 pages worth of work (which really isn't much when you think about it), but other than that, I feel as if I could have just done it at home in about 1 years time if I moved at my own pace (to put this in perspective I "finished" highschool in 2 years and finished community college in 1 1/2 years). Hell even if I had continued through with my physics degree, I could probably have taught myself a majority of it at home instead of having to deal with the countries "greatest" science program (It was so bad that Logic itself was literally defied. A third grader could have come up with a more sound plan).

Before you come at me with a barrage of life lessons, about "that's just the way life is," let me say that "that is not the way an educational institution that says it educates people is supposed to conduct itself." Despite what ever life lessons you come up with, you can not disagree with me that university has become a lifeless cash grab.

Thing is, it doesn't tale a whole lot of smart to figure out what a university really feels like... or is, for that matter. There are freshmen that I know that are already becoming aware of it. It's insane. It's insane to be stuck in a situation that society forces you into, even if what society gives you is sub-par. And if you quit, people tell you that it is your fault you failed, and never even consider the other possibility. Ever wonder why some people commit suicide in college? I'd bet my right arm that what I said above was one of the main reasons. Sure, sleep deprivation may not help (not like you have any choice anyway. I don't party and I pull all nighters just to barely get things done. I am so exhausted, so angry and sad at the same time. I hide it all behind a mask to make it worse. My parents notice at least, so it makes it a bit better to know that certain people understand.

Going to keep going though, even if it kills me.

More Posts