There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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When people tell me they were raped and what not why do I feel the urge to ask them why they were there or what they were wearing... I hate that I can't say "im so sorry that happened can I help?" Instead I feel anger and I feel like it's more their fault. Well accurately, this WAS how I use to think in starting to understand that there is a name for this it's called "victim blaming" I'm starting to see that maybe I should not question it. I should just show support to the people in need. But it's like as soon as they tell you something like rape or something of this nature you want to blame them I mean you are angry at both the raped and the rapist. Maybe I'm just narrowed minded but I feel like I'm starting to understand maybe I'm blaming them because I'm scared of a bad world or maybe I blame them because they are actually somewhat at fault in a way? Maybe deep down I feel that they are a bad person after all? But how can you help not feeling this way..? Maybe I have trust issues idk I just want to stop feeling this way so I can have healthy relationships and not victim blame people for things that I might not understand.
The desire to be seen in a positive light can give rise to dangerous behaviors.
Anxiety about rejection can undermine satisfaction.
Doing well can be a double-edged sword.
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