Values are what bring distinction to your life. You don't find them, you choose them. And when you do, you're on the path to fulfillment.
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Actually, the author's whole point is that blaming the victim for the bad things that happen is wrong and illogical. As she points out, we DON'T always have control in life, even when we make good decisions. Bad things DO happen to good people. She then explains why, in spite of this, many of us still cling to the (unconscious?) belief that if something bad happens, either it's not really a bad thing or the person somehow deserved it. The author doesn't agree with this perspective, she challenges it.
The desire to be seen in a positive light can give rise to dangerous behaviors.
Anxiety about rejection can undermine satisfaction.
Doing well can be a double-edged sword.
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