Negative behavior, in this case cheating, is indeed selfish and chosen. It's selfish by definition because the person thought of his or her self first, and it's chosen by definition because the person chose to pursue those actions. Being dangerous to emotional and physical health is besides the point.

I think we should also remember two things: (1) attachment style is a continuum of behaviors, so few people are clearly "avoidant" or "anxious". Psychologists give measures of these things and then divide people along a middle line. Psychologists know (or should know) that it's a very simplistic way of looking at things, but it is useful for prediction of group effects, which brings me to (2).

(2) Psychology studies are of group effects. That means that of all the avoidant and anxious couples, there was a (usually small) difference in the average between the two groups. It may be the case that a very large number of avoidant couples actually were more unfaithful than anxious couples (and vice versa), so these results will not apply to a large number of couples. The study's conclusions just say that if we take the average infidelity across all couples, the anxious couples have a little bit more.

Psychological studies of group effects are very interesting, but you cannot take a group effect and then say things like "this person is 'avoidant', so they will do this or that". I think many psychologists assume people know this, but public (and private) discourse seems to prove otherwise.

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