There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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Employers withholding information is not dishonest, which is the point I was trying to make. I'm sorry if I offended you.
You're right about another thing too. I am a whore. But in my book on selling yourself, I don't use that term, I call myself a prostitute. And I'm up-front about that. All business owners are prostitutes. In order to make a sale, you have to put up with a lot of crap from customers that always think they are right. You do it and you keep your mouth shut, so that you don't embarrass them when they are wrong.
Whiny customers on one side, and employees on the other... The employees are the face of the company that interact with the customers. They can easily kill a business by pissing off the customers. So with this in mind, does the employer want to hire rah-rah cheerleaders and smiley people? Of course they do.
But your situation is even worse. Being a female welder, the employer is going to put you next to a guy with a mouth like a drunken sailor. If you can't take the filth that he spews, what does the owner risk? Right... He worries that you're going to run to your lawyer and sue him for harassment. You're not going to sue the foul-mouthed idiot, you're going to sue the company for hiring that jerk and keeping him around. So he risks losing two skilled welders, and a pile of money.
So you don't care about playing the "game." To you, the employer should accept you the way you are? Good luck with that...
I'm sorry if this offends you. That is not my intent. But I'm giving you the straight-up scoop that other people won't tell you. Life is all about playing "the game." If you want to continue opt out and to be on the bottom (crap always rolls downhill), that is your choice.
So yea... You're right... My book is about whoring yourself. It is about making the employer feel good about hiring you versus hiring the person that comes next in the interview process. The difference between my book and those written by human resource managers, is that I'll tell you what they are really thinking on the inside. It is pretty raw stuff, and totally politically incorrect. But that is what a job candidate needs to know in order to be successful.
The interview process is like a battle. On one side, you have an candidate that is trying to hide their past, and all the crap that might make them a huge risk to the company. And on the other side, you have the employer that is trying to cut through all the fluff that candidates say about themselves. In this situation, the employer has the huge advantage because they are not alone. There are so many hiring tools and consultants out there, that the single candidate doesn't stand much of a chance against the onslaught. I think that my book puts that advantage back into the hands of the employee. It does so, because when everyone has the same skill set, it addresses the real reason people get hired; which is personality traits.
Good luck with your career. I really do mean that.
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