There are ways to temper your toughest critic and take constructive control of your feelings.
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Not necessarily. It could be someone who really wants a job just wanting a chance to prove themselves and feeling like they're being unfairly denied an opportunity. People should be given a chance on their own merits, not what some HR dolt thinks about vague definitions without bothering to meet the person.
For example, I recently had a job in which the welding crew had double standards; male welders are expected to be skilled and productive, and female welders are expected to be skilled, productive, smiley, supportive cheerleaders. That means they'll hire an introverted male, but not an introverted female. They are not honest enough to admit any of this. It's underhanded to expect employees to be scrupulously honest when employers lie their asses off.
Every employer I've ever had proudly and loudly stated that they have no favoritism or nepotism here. Every one of them lied about it.
Why are men blind to gender bias?
The law of unexpected utility
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