I was cured pretty early in life of "shoulds". The universe simply doesn't cooperate. However, that does NOT make me feel more relaxed, accepting, or resilient, it makes me feel more helpless. Yes, I can make plans. Yes, I can put some degree of effort into my plans. I cannot control the outcome, and anything I apply myself to is as likely to be a wasted effort as an accomplishment. The result is that I rarely try to accomplish anything, because there is no point. I end up in the mentality of "nothing ventured, nothing lost".