Thank you Marc. My psychological addiction seems so ingrained in me. That at this point. I don't feel any emotion, when I have thought.
I was over 1 1/2 years, no substances; yet I could not understand why I was still thinking about using. I know I have a mild OCD disorder, which does not help.
Before that 1 1/2 stint of being clean. I was a really sad site, all out IV drug use for years, alcohol binges. Just a mess really for the better part of a decade.
I ended up relapsing after that 1 1/2 years.. for a better part of the next year. I took the emotion out of my relapses and would literally use infrequently for many months. I tested myself. I tested my obsession. The mental battle is just too much when trying to return to moderate consumption. Mind you very difficult, very hard. I would stop myself for 30 days. Have a drink, I would feel the urge to want to consume more and use narcotics.
With great inner force I did stop myself. With just two drinks. Very difficult. I don't recomment people try this after being physically and psychologically addicted in the manner I was previously. I just had to feel it out. I'm clean now, feel great, I'm kind of concerned the urge will never go away. These articles have helped me quite a bit. I would like to study this area as well
The loss of control will always be with a person? Have you ever relapsed?
Thanks for responding to my previous question.

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