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Currently, for the past two months, I would place myself under dismissive avoidant attachment. I feel content with me, my beautiful kids, my friends from past and present and my job. Not having a bond with my husband is at best a dent in my world... it does not crush my world. Until last year, I craved for his connection, and had a lot of ups and downs. My question is this: which I agree that my mom was not very expressive in love and was verbally and sometimes physically abusive, my husband has the opposite problem. He's so attached to his mom that I feel like a third wheel between them. The way he talks to her for hours on the phone, cuddles with her, happily engages with kids when she's around and is not obsessed with gadgets is the complete opposite of how he behaves when its just me and the kids. It feels like he can only truly feel secure with her, and needs her to form connections with others in his life. He once went abroad when his mom was around. Upon landing, he called her and spoke for an hour, then hung up. When he returned I asked him how come he didnt talk to me when I was his wife. His response was "how can I ask my mom to give the phone to my wife?" So, tell me, am I the one who needs therapy or is it him?
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