You might be interested in reading some of our other blogs that explain the pattern you seem to be talking about in terms of the partners you choose. I completely agree with you regarding honesty. You may also be interested in our book “Fear of Intimacy” or “Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships.” Here are links to some of the blogs:

The Key to Healthy Relationships: It's All in Your Head -
Are You Addicted to Doomed Relationships? -
What It Means to Be Loving -
How to Date Outside Your Comfort Zone -

I hope this helps.