Fair enough, you ranked me in the preoccupied-anxiety bit. Sure, I am both anxious and preoccupied with negative thoughts. Problem is, I have good reason to be. I am never clingy, I allow all the freedom one wants and I only have a single demand, truthfulness and honesty, which is NEVER met. Consequently, I enter relationships without any amount of preoccupation or anxiety because I just tend to take people at their word, and then see relationships end terribly because I was not clingy enough or too naive to notice things like cheating, lying and so forth. My son's father behaved like this, he even let me go through a pregnancy cause he wanted to "fuck free for 9 months" and that's a quote. And when he found out that the pregnancy and child changed me and that I was unhappy and depressed because of his affairs and his indifference, he kicked us out and got his minor girlfriend in. My last partner was a narcissist who put me down constantly and never felt a thing about me. So, yeah, I'm anxious and preoccupied. And it's got nothing to do with childhood. And right now I don't want anyone at all. I never even wanted a fairytale, just some real togetherness, someone I can love and who'd love me back. Care to explain this to me?