i really identified with what you are saying. i have those ame thougts all of the time.
but you seem a lot more aware of your behaviors and patterns in general.
i try to be real with myself bt at the same time i avoid a lot of feelings because they are very difficult for me to process. most of the time i without even realizing it , opt for the dissociative state that brings me to a better place, but more fantasy than anything else.
and it is not healthy.
what id like to now is, hows it going with the therapist? any help there that you have noticed?
i hope so, i feel for you. not as a pity thing, but because it is tough to have this attachment style. very, very tough. and confusing.
please, if you have any websites or books, youtube videos or ny other resources of good, quality information that wil help.
perhaps that has helped you. but id appreciate anything youve got.
im tired of reading about what it means, my attachment.
iknow what it is, i know why it is there, i understand that .
what i need is help to break these maladaptive patterns and ways of viewing life.
im tired of being miserable and causing my own distress and misery.
thanks a lot.