The trouble with recognizing the thoughts as maladaptive and putting them out of your head is that it sounds like by doing so you are ignoring your intuition which frankly should not be ignored it’s there to protect you from bad situations/ abusers etc. Ignoring your intuition will get you hooked up with a narcissist or psychopath as quick as that and I firmly suspect that adult attachment styles (though seriously thought provoking and interesting) at that point become less of a concern as these evil incarnates are wreckers of soul and sanity. I’d like to study more the interplay between these factors if there’s info out there. But.... again..... if your gut is telling you something doesn’t feel right with a partner or prospective partner then you should heed that feeling and if you can’t pin it down and figure out why (be real no excuses and doubting yourself cause that there is where intuition goes way wrong) and if you can not figure it then listen to your internal radar and if this happens again and or again then >>> RUN LIKE HELL!