Thank you for this article. It articulates well some thoughts that I have on the matter.

I have some issues with anger stemming from my mother. She can often become very angry and she doesn't know how to deal with her emotions in a healthy manner. One of the ways she "deals" with anger sometimes is to try to drag other people into battles she is having with a person. For e.g. when she got divorced, she told my kid brother "I am very angry at your father". She justified this by saying that one day he would be angry about the divorce and that he should know why - because "logic". Similarly, she wrote an angry open letter to her sister on our family's Facebook group wall for all to see. The only reason I can figure out for her doing this is so that she can gain allies from some other family members. I think it makes her look petty and cruel.

I wish I could tell her that her tactics of roping in loved ones into her own misery is hurtful and does in no way validate or justify her rage, which is hers and hers alone. How can I tell her this tactfully? Any ideas?

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