I agree that saying "I feel hurt" when your face is red and your voice is loud will be discordant. Bad idea. At the same time, the best way to handle anger is to pause before proceeding. Pause and exit the situation for a few minutes if need be. Calm down. Then talk. Cooperatively rather than aggressively. Talking while you are angry will be unproductive. In addition to alienating the other person, the other person will be less likely to listen sympathetically or effectively, and you as well as that person both will be less able to think. As anger goes up, information processing goes down. Check out my post about Anger Is A Stop Sign for more on theses ideas.

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