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When we feel angry, we also, if we stop to think about it, have additional more subtle feelings: hurt, scared, bothered, troubled, upset, confused, defensive.... If the goal is, as you say, to be heard, labeling the feeling in this way, avoids inviting defensiveness in the listener. So pause a moment instead of angrily blurting out. Then you will be able to hear your quieter, more vulnerable, feelings. Verbalizing vulnerable feelings invites listening; verbalizing anger invites defensiveness and/or counter-attacks. This way you still are sharing honest feelings, but more effectively.
Thanks for high-lighting this issue!
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