I like most of this article as I imagine it's about taking responsibility for feelings. Thank you for writing it.

When you say, "Then, to optimize the likelihood you will be heard without defensiveness, choose a word other than a word from the anger family for the feeling that remains, a word like “sad” or “scared..” ."

I don't like how you tell people to replace words from the anger family with "sad" or "scared." Sometimes we're just pissed off, and our loved ones need to hear it. There's no intimacy when we bullshit about our feelings to attempt to control them into being less defensive. I say admit being angry just like any other emotion, just try to remain aware and grounded while doing so.

Overall, I agree with using "I feel" it's a lot more pleasant to hear than blaming phrases, and it's more productive and honest too.

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