Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives?
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Currently I am in an M.Ed. program for Clinical Mental Health Counseling, so articles as such interest me a great deal. In fact, cultivating self-care skills and keeping par with their continual practice has been reinforced in all my courses each semester (thus far). As the saying goes, "You can't care for another unless you can care for yourself." Being an older student who changed careers late in life, as well as being one who utilized therapy for years prior to and as well as into going back to school to learn a new discipline, I feel I had already homed in on many of these of those listed; I used them in everyday life as though they were commonplace and everyone had the same knowledge in order to use (or develop) the same skill sets. I especially found mindfulness, acceptance, having a strong, accessible support group, and developing assessable, practical coping skills ("my toolbox") to have been formulated well before I started my program. I have become more resilient as a result of the power of knowledge through education and regular therapy: I have gone on to learn more principles of theories, hence, further gathering and strengthening new skills and coping measures as my growth increases and time passes. What I was not prepared for was an incident that rocked my world to the point where I was gasping for air and wanting so badly to displace my pain in a place where it could be held so some time could pass and more acceptance could begin factoring. Yet for the first time every, my body didn't feel big enough or strong enough to hold so much wrenching pain. I struggled day in and day out, keeping in mind the aforementioned principles you listed. Moreso, I could go through most of the list on a daily basis, acknowledge and accept each item, yet still to find myself troubled in working through even the ones I had mastered. What no one tells you is that trauma, depending on the severity, can test your resiliency, but it can also to become aware of it. In order to become more efficacious and efficient in my journey of healing, I decided I'd challenge myself to see myself through a different lens--as the patient who would one day help others who would one day go through the trauma similar to that of which I was victimized. I imagined the list (above) being verbalized to me in a channel or continuum that spoke to me. In turn, I acted as-if I were the client who was in need of need (which I was). In short, it allowed me to be more objective and less subjective, and it facilitated more tolerance for my pain, enchanting my skills' and practices' applications. I suppose my point is this: Even though some of us know every step to take in order to be emotionally competent or resilient, skills needed to persevere and push through adversity can be unique and allow you to see a different, less "tough" version of yourself; There will be times when we are challenged due to unforeseen traumatic adversities and you can only do what is assessable. I believe the missing component from the well-contructed and thorough definition of resiliency is reminding yourself that you are human. No one is exempt from feeling or struggling with issues concerning strong emotions or feelings towards events that create unique dispositions at every moment in time. We are imperfect creatures. In my opinion, when personal resiliency is challenged, remember to be kind to yourself and acknowledge struggling may be (or likely is) a necessary component in order to heal. No one could possibly master all these skills and utilize them 100% of the time… so sometimes emotional resiliency is just giving your best every day, keeping in the 24 hours, and just remembering that time helps; Time is one of the less labored acts that allows continued healing to those struggling with temporary setbacks aligned with resiliency.
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