The COVID crisis throws into relief what happens when grief has—quite literally—nowhere to go. The evidence suggests that most people summon strengths that surpass their own expectations.
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It sounds like you and the kids should leave her or, if you continue to live with her, you should treat her as a distant roommate and get on with your life. You can be civil to her in the house but go about your business. Pursue your IT dream! That's a great field to get into!
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