I appreciate the positive helpful tone of your blog. My husband has female-pattern (based on your descriptions) bpd traits which are almost impossible to live with 40% of the time, but the other 60% he is a compassionate kind person, so your non-vilifying approach is so valuable. Those of us wanting to provide a secure base for an attachment-injured spouse need strength for the journey. I know this bc I cured my own mild bpd-ish traits in an intense 8-year journey with a therapist. If one faces the shame and heals the secure attachment to self through trusting another, bpd can be overcome.