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I have been struggling with this problem just this week and the thoughts repulse me. I am going through an endless cycle of misery, where I continuously reassure myself that I am not that type of person but then a voice in the back in the back of my mind tells me I am...thus repeating the cycle with more reassurance.
I don't feel like I can put up with this too long but I have no idea to get past this. I don't want to live my life in a constant cycle of obsessively checking and reassuring myself and then checking and doubting.
I avoid children like the plague now and will avoid anything to do with children as they worry me and it triggers my worrying again. I reassure myself that my disgust and worry tells me that I am a good person but then I tell myself that just thinking those thoughts makes me a monster.... Please, help me :(
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