So you're not a "10" in every which way. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being human, it is now.
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Question about Rupture & Repair
Can you explain more about why Rupture & Repair requires a professional therapist (and why a a partner couldn't be coached to provide this inside a relationship effectively?) Have you seen partner's provide this stance with success in your practice? As it pertains to personal relationships, when I read the stance you took during Rupture & Repair with your demanding patient, this same stance might be viewed as walking on eggshells, or an attempt to endlessly placate a demanding partner to avoid escalation? Is the stance balanced with limits? I have heard partner's complain that their Rupture & Repair stance just upped the ante in terms of increased expectations of near perfect mirroring from their partner which resulted in even more fireworks during any perceived rupture. Is that sometimes the case in therapy, too?